People Pleaser

Jeez Louise, it's gettin' harder and harder to post on this blog.

Not because I don't have anything to post about on the list, 'cause I got plenty. It's just that I'm finally having fun doing something on the list and I'm spending so much time on it.

Said item on the list is the show. How cool is it to do something you love and not care if it's popular or not? It's been said "Do what you love, the money will follow" but I guess that love means complete and total acceptance of a thing. And I really love the webshow... as lame and as cheesy as it is.

Speaking of the show do you wanna see it? The link leads to the new website but there's a link that leads directly to the videos

http://www.itsallblackandwhitevideo.com

But I think that I can really make something of it. This may actually be my breakout.

I've always wanted to perform but I have what they have this... this shyness problem. If you were to come to the Starbucks I work at you'd never know it because I'm so freakin' happy all the time. For the most part the happiness is genuine and if you knew what I went through in my life you'd know that my escape from my past is why I'm so happy.

But there's a form of desperation in my happiness. A way of people pleasing that I never grew out of. A form of "please don't hurt me and I'll be your friend" kinda thing, y'know? Performing in front of a camera with my best friend seems like a positive way to deal with the people pleasing aspect of my personality.

I honestly can see myself in the future writing scripts and being on talk shows and mingling with famous people and being a famous person. I am really grateful for this list. It's opened up a whole new world for me even if less than 1% is completed.

Jeez, I do ramble don't I. More later.

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